


minecraft is for everyone!

by wilfre



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Gen, Minecraft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-11 00:24:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20144479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilfre/pseuds/wilfre
Summary: pyro, a minecraft connoisseur, teaches scout the basics.





	1. getting wood

"Alright. I got the wood. Now what?"

Pyro pressed a button on the keyboard, making sure Scout was watching. A menu appeared. Scout's avatar was displayed in it.

"Woah, is that me?" Scout moved the mouse around, which moved the avatar as well. "Heh. Cool."

"Whoops."

Pyro pressed a different button, opening another menu.

"Uhhh, okay.. It's blank."

They pointed to the blocks of wood in his inventory, then to the 2x2 blank area in the menu. "Move it there," they mumbled.

Scout moved the whole stack to one space.

"No, make sure there's wood in every space."

He clicked the wood again, picking up every piece. "Uhh, how do I just get one?"

"Right-click."

"What?"

"Here." Pyro clicked for him, and let him fill the spaces himself. A new item showed up in a separate space next to the four boxes. "Get that."

Scout put it in his inventory. "'Cruhhh.. Crafting.. table'? What's that?"

"It lets you make bigger items like tools and stuff. But you have to put it down first."

"Oh, okay. Cool. Should I make a tool?"

"Uhhhh…" Pyro picked at their gloves, examining the area of the game Scout was in. "Not yet. You should build a house before it gets dark."

Scout nodded, exiting the menu and scouting (heh) out a good place to build his house. He killed some sheep and cows on the way, much to Pyro's dismay (and to which Scout would defend himself by saying "Hey! You told me I need food!").

After a while, he settled on a field next to a mountain, with a village in the distance he would explore later. For now, he was focused on his house, as per his friend's advice.

He went for a classic, square oak wood house. After finishing the outline, a problem came to light.

"Aw, crap. I need more wood." He looked around for some trees, which were getting harder to see in the dimming light. "Is there a thing you can get that makes you see better?"

"There's uhh, a potion of night vision. But it's really hard to get 'cause you gotta make a brewing stand which you need a blaze rod for and to find a blaze you have to have to go to the Nether—"

"Dude, what? Ain't there somethin' easier than that?"

Pyro stared blankly at the screen for a second (though it looks like they're staring blankly all the time with that mask, anyway).

"..Oh yeah, torches! But you gotta get coal. And to get coal you need a pickaxe. But it's already night and mining at night is scary."

"Why," Scout teased, "are there _ monsters?_"

"......Did I not tell you?"

Scout punched at what he hoped was an oak tree. "Uhh, tell me what?"

"That there are monsters at night."

"What?!"

_ Hssssss.. _

"Wha-"

_ BOOM! _

A massive explosion was set off directly behind Scout's character, leaving a huge crater and sending his stuff flying everywhere.

A red overlay appeared on screen, along with the words 'You died!'

Scout pushed his chair out, standing up and cracking his back.

"Yeah, I think I'm done playin' for now."

The sound of a throat being cleared. The two of them looked to the doorway, where Soldier was standing.

"Medic said it's my turn on the computer."


	2. the end.

The Eye of Ender didn't fly up.

"Holy crap!" Scout grinned, excitedly kicking his legs. Pyro happily bounced as well. "Oh man, this is it!"

He began digging straight down (something Pyro couldn't convince him to stop doing), breaking the dirt with his bare hands.

He groaned. "This is taking foreveeerrr."

"Maybe if you had brought a shovel.."

"_Maybe if you had brought a shovel,_" he mocked, switching to his pickaxe. "I don't need no freakin' shovel!"

He broke through the stone bricks, falling into the stronghold. A zombie snarled in the next room.

"Woah. This place is dark. Where should I go?"

"Umm, I don't know." Pyro absentmindedly fiddled with their fidget toy. "They're randomly generated. Just explore."

"Alright, cool." Scout put some torches in his off-hand, wielding his diamond sword in the other. He lit up a dark hallway, going straight and down some stairs. He killed spiders and zombies and took some bread from chests along the way.

At the bottom of the staircase, there was a single iron door. He pressed the button to open it.

"Yo, this freakin' door doesn't go anywhere!"

"Try mining through it."

Scout broke the door and the stone bricks behind it, revealing another room and more passageways.

"Oh. Cool."

He continued exploring, finding a library and taking a minute to collect some books.

Back to work.

He left the library, going down another corridor.

"Wait." Pyro leaned in, eyes wide behind the mask. "Go back for a second."

Scout backtracked, as instructed.

"Go down those stairs."

"Whatever you say." He started heading down, anxiously scrolling the mouse and switching between his sword and his pickaxe. "Jeez, how big is this freakin' place?"

At the bottom of the staircase, there was only one corridor, with a bright room attached.

Pyro excitedly jumped up and down as soon as the room came into view. "It's the portal room!" they squealed. "Go in it!"

Scout walked past the iron bars, looking around. "Woah. Kinda underwhelming, but still c—"

_ Smack. _

His avatar jumped forward as it was hit.

Scout turned around, screaming as he was hit again.

"What's hitting me?!"

Pyro panicked as well. "Don't fall in the lava!"

_ Smack_.

"Look down!" Pyro desperately yelled. "Scout, look, look!"

Scout looked down, and found a small gray creature to be the source of the damage. He quickly sliced it with his sword, killing it in one hit.

"What the hell was that?!"

"Silverfish. Now more are gonna attack you."

"_What?!_"

"Break the spawner!"

Yelling in distress the whole time, Scout quickly broke the spawner at the top of the stairs leading up to the portal.

But it was too late.

_ Smack_.

The yelling increased.

"Don't fall!"

Scout flailed around, wildly jumping and rapidly clicking everything.

After a while of not being hit, the panic subsided. Scout took a second to catch his breath.

"I think you got them all."

"Yeah, I hope so, mumbles." He finally climbed up the stairs, staring at the End portal. "Hey, there's already two eye thingies here, who put these here?"

"No one. They can spawn like that."

"Oh, nice. Less work for me."

He equipped his Eyes of Ender, sneaking and carefully placing one in each empty portal frame. When he was done, the portal activated, showing an almost eerie inky black darkness.

He jumped in.

Pyro suddenly stopped playing with their toy. "Uh oh."

Scout raised his eyebrows, looking back at them. "Uh oh?"

"I forgot to tell you to sleep in the portal room. Now if you die you'll respawn at home."

"Pfft. I ain't dyin'."

The player loaded into a room made of end stone. A health bar appeared at the top of the screen, belonging to the Ender Dragon. Scout grinned and impatiently bounced his leg.

"How do I get outta here?"

"Mine up."

Scout easily broke the blocks directly above him, tunneling up and placing dirt beneath him until he emerged and was on the main island.

"Holy crap." He looked around at all the massive obsidian towers, making sure not to make eye contact with an enderman.

Pyro pointed at the screen. "You have to destroy the End crystals or else they heal the dragon. But they explode, so don't get too close to them."

"Eh, I got like, Blast Protection Ten, I'm fine."

"Blast Protection only goes up to four."

"Yeah but if I got Blast Protection Four on all my armor, that adds up to at least ten."

He began climbing the nearest tower, stacking dirt blocks beneath him.

As he reached the top, the dragon roared, sounding way too close for comfort.

And it was.

Turning around, Scout shrieked as he saw the Ender dragon flying straight towards him. He hit the crystal in a panic, the explosion knocking him off the tower but knocking off a surprisingly good chunk of the dragon's health.

"Crap, crap crap crap crap," Scout huffed, hurrying away to the next tower while eating the bread he found earlier.

"Uhh, uhh," Pyro nervously flapped their hands, "just try shooting the crystals with your bow!"

"Aww, man, I ain't any good at long range, but alright."

Scout equipped his under-enchanted bow (most of his experience and lapis went into enchanting his sword and armor, him being more of a melee guy and all) and aimed directly for the crystal.

"You have to aim higher. The arrow like, falls after a certain distance. I forget what it's called."

"Where'd you learn that, Sniper?" He aims a bit higher than the crystal, fires, and misses. He takes aim again.

"Maybe."

Miss. Re-aim.

Hit!

The crystal explodes. He aims for the next tower.

"What's with the ones in cages?" He hits the crystal.

"You have to go up and break them."

And so he did. 

After breaking the rest, Scout climbed up to the two remaining crystals, removing the iron bars and shattering them.

"Now it's _ BEATDOWN TIME!_" he yelled, jumping off the tower in excitement. _ Crunch_. "Aw, crap." 

He ate another piece of bread, hiding behind the tower and waiting for his health to regenerate.

"Okay, _ now _ it's beatdown time."

He equipped his bow, scoring a few successful shots on the dragon. Its health bar was still around 3/4th full.

The Ender dragon stopped above the unactivated exit portal, flying in place.

"What's it doin'?!" Scout started running up to it. "Is it glitched out?"

"No, it just does tha— Watch out!"

The dragon roared and unleashed its breath attack, covering the area in purple particles. Scout jumped away at the last second, maneuvering to the back of the dragon and spamming his sword.

After it was down to half its health, the dragon flew away.

"What's goin' on in here?"

Pyro looked back (Scout's eyes were still glued to the screen) and saw Demoman padding into the room. They made a tiny noise of joy and threw their arms out; he grinned and brought them into a tight embrace.

"Scout's fighting the Ender dragon."

"Hm?" Demo still wasn't the best at deciphering their mumbles.

They pointed at the screen. "Minecraft."

"Ooh." 

He pulled a chair up, sitting a little behind Scout and watching him play.

"Pyro, look!" Scout called. Pyro returned to their position beside him. "It's almost dead!"

Demo yawned, "Isn't the dragon a girl?"

The dragon was at just a fraction of its health; it was flying overhead and spitting fireballs at the player. Scout was able to dodge most of them, but the last one collided with him. Demo let out a harsh laugh.

"Ha! Aren't you supposed to be good at runnin' and dodgin'?!"

"Quit it!" Scout had lost almost half his hearts, and was still taking fire damage. The Ender dragon stopped above its nest again. "Oh, crap. Crap!"

His eyes flickered between his diminishing health and the dragon. It was _ right _ there…

"Screw it, I'm goin' for it!"

Pyro covered their eyes.

Scout charged at the dragon, yelling and wildly swinging his sword.

The remaining sliver of the dragon's health bar disappeared.

Its wings stopped flapping. 

Pyro uncovered their eyes.

There was a crackling noise, and the dragon started rising into the air. Beams of light erupted from its body, which was quickly breaking down. 

There was a final explosion; the lights faded soon afterwards, and hundreds of experience orbs showered the island.

The three of them started collectively screaming.

"Ye did it!" Demo roared, wrapping his arms around Scout's midsection, pulling him out of his chair, and twirling him around. Scout shrieked with laughter.

"I did it! I did it; I won Minecraft!"

Pyro cheered, picking Scout right back up again just as Demo had set him down.

"What is going on in here?!"

Deja vu. The trio looked over and found Soldier peering in through the doorway.

"Explain all this commotion, privates!"

"Scout won Minecraft!" Demo beamed. Soldier's jaw went slack.

"He didn't."

"I did!" Scout pointed at the screen, where the dragon was nowhere to be found. "I killed the dragon!"

He was set down, only for Soldier to lift him right back up. The other man laughed raucously as he set Scout on his shoulders. He jogged out into the hallway.

"Everyone!" he barked, "Scout has won Minecraft!"

There was an irritated bang against the wall from Medic's room. "I am trying to sleep!"

Soldier grinned, letting Scout down; he took his hat and ruffled the younger man's hair.

"I'm proud of you, son."

"Um." Pyro raised their hand to get Scout's attention. "You should probably get that experience before it disappears. It's like, eighty levels. Or seventy. I forget. Still a lot, though."

"Oh crap, right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have never beaten the ender dragon


End file.
